Suicide By Seroquel

My first blog told my "Suicide by Seroquel" story. I was diagnosed Bipolar and given Seroquel. I started having some nasty side effects and when I spoke with my psychiatrist about how badly I felt he told me I needed counseling. No kidding! He actually said that -  the incompetent poor excuse for a doctor. One evening I took a massive amount of pills and almost died. I was on life support in the ICU and was not expected to live and if I did I was without oxygen for so long that there was a good possibility that I would have brain damage, heart damage and other organ damage. Well I survived. I have a studder, poor attention span and memory and a twitch but I count my blessings that I am still here. That my husband hasn't lost his wife and my children haven't lost their mother.

I firmly believe that if my doctor had taken me seriously and discontinued the Seroquel I would not have attempted suicide. Aside from feeling the side effects I have a wonderful life and had absolutely NO REASON to end it. It came out of nowhere and feels like I didn't do it but that it was happening TO me.
I spoke with one of my daughters about it and tried to explain the link between anti-psychotic meds and suicide and she said, "Yea Mom but you took the pills." True, but would not have done so if I was not experiencing a Seroquel Trance. The crazy thing is that I second guess myself. Am I just coping out? Am I just blaming the medication for my actions?....you damn right I am. And as I continue to read and post articles about the dangers of Seroquel I find that I am not the only one. Sad but consoling.

Surviving suicide can be bittersweet: eternally grateful that I survived but left with feelings of extreme guilt and shame. I not only hurt myself but I hurt those I love.

I read about Seroquel before taking it but now post-suicide attempt I am digging deeper and finding one horror story after another. Like peeling the layers of an onion.

I am on a mission to tell my story to help others. I hope that I can spare just one person from experiencing my tragedy.

In retrospect I would have read blogs by others who have taken Seroquel, researched AstraZeneca (the makers of Seroquel), found a doctor who listens to me, gotten to a hospital when my doctor wouldn't take my side effects seriously, educated my family about the drug.

This blog is very healing. It is important that I talk about what happened. I must get it out...let it out. Something buried is buried alive!!!